MARY'S STORY

    The psychiatrist had diagnosed Mary as having psychosis. Mary was not exactly sure what this term meant. All she knew was that she was filled with fear and was unable to leave her couch. She had been laying on this couch, in the darkness, for 10 days. Her family spoke in low voices because Mary could not tolerate any noise or disturbance. 

     She was nauseous and exhausted. Her mind was filled with horrible images of destruction. It was too much to bear, but she had no way to stop this scenario. The doctor prescribed an anti-depressant, but it seemed to only intensify her fears. How had this happened to her? What was wrong with her?

     On that day, Mary realized that she had to get out of this state of paralysis. She couldn't live like this any longer. She made a decision to come out of her isolation. Over the next week, she gradually began to awaken from her stupor. 

     Several friends tried to assist her in exploring the cause of her crisis. Through these conversations, Mary realized she had become lost in fear. 

     For the last few years, she had been studying the predictions of earth changes. She knew the forces of nature were powerful and she had become overwhelmed with anxiety and panic. From her perspective, there was nothing she could do to stop the inevitable disaster. She felt powerless and began to lose all hope. 

     Because she was also reevaluating some of her religious beliefs, she felt she had nowhere to turn for help. She was confused and uncertain as to what was the "truth". She had always believed there was a truth etched in stone somewhere in the universe. It was important to find that truth and to hold on to it for dear life. 

     Presently, she was in a no man's land with no truth on which she could stand. In her mind, without the "truth", she had no way to protect herself from the dangers all around her.

     A friend introduced Mary to the power of core beliefs in creating her reality. Over time, she discovered the fear of earth changes and her belief that she was powerless to change the future had created her crisis. She used the energy of her trauma to carefully explore her beliefs, eliminating those that made her feel powerless. 

     She realized it was OK to be unsure of the "truth"; she could explore concepts as only beliefs. She learned that she was creating her experience of reality through what she chose to believe. 

     In this new freedom, Mary has chosen to believe that she can change the future. She has decided to believe that her security and happiness do not depend on something outside of her; they come from within her.

     Mary feels she still has a long way to go in overcoming all the limiting beliefs she adopted as a young person; however, she is learning to accept her power and use the tools of creation to build a life she enjoys. Her crisis gave her an opportunity to explore the beliefs she once held as the "truth", allowing them to come easily to the surface and be transformed.

Reverend Marty Varnadoe Dow, MSW

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