Emotions are part of the richness of life. They add color and texture to the events of our lives. Our celebrations would be flat and tasteless without the bubbles of joy exuding from our soul. Grief and sadness are important companions as we wrestle with the meaning of loss. Pain warns us of danger. Anger stimulates us to action when we have been wronged. Love soothes our wounds and motivates us to break out of our self created isolation. Feelings are vital to our human experience.

     With all the benefits of emotions, why are we so afraid to feel? We have been taught to hide our emotions. Men are encouraged to be strong and not to cry. Women are taught not to express their anger. Children are told to tone down all their emotional expressions. Teenagers are warned not to wear their heart on their sleeve. The elderly are criticized for being too emotional. People in emotional pain are comforted by the words, “Don’t cry; everything will be all right.” 

     In our society, we have been taught that emotions can be dangerous. People are embarrassed by the expression of feelings. For some, expressing emotion is a sign of weakness. Many of us believe that if we explore our emotions, we will be overwhelmed by the depth of these feelings. We are afraid our emotions will stimulate us to take an action we will regret. We have been taught that emotions are untrustworthy. Some people think that if they start to cry, they will never be able to stop.

     We have wrongly believed that if we suppressed our emotions, they would simply go away. We swallow our tears, bite our tongues, and eat our anger in an effort to ignore our feelings. Unfortunately, the energy of these emotions remain in our inner beings, gathering strength with every unexpressed feeling. If we keep pushing the feelings down, they build up, eventually exploding in an unexplained bout of rage or tears. 

     Repressed emotions negatively affect our health. The effect of stress on heart disease is common knowledge. Researchers suspect there is a relationship between depression and the recurrence of cancer. Sometimes, it is as if our repressed emotions are symbolically expressed through disease in our bodies, much like the image Ted had about the cancerous mole on his back. 

     Crisis, with its emotional upheaval, brings an opportunity to learn to deal effectively with our feelings. During a crisis, everything is heightened, allowing one to experience, express, and transmute years of repressed emotions. When our emotional body is blocked with old feelings, it is difficult to know what we are currently feeling. Use this opportunity to explore your emotions, getting better acquainted with one of the most intimate dimensions of yourself, your feelings.

Reverend Marty Varnadoe Dow, MSW

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